TRIGGER WARNING -
This website has been created in memory of our son Griogair who was born 8th July 2015 & died September 1st 2015.
*The website has also been created with other parent's in mind.*
When we found ourselves and Griogair in the William Harvey Hospital in Kent, & then the Trevor Mann's Neonatal intensive Care Unit in Brighton, we started scouring the internet for stories from other parent's.
We hope that this website maybe of help, and of use, to other parent's who find themselves in similar circumstances to that of ourselves.
My pregnancy with Griogair was rather turbulent.
I suffered from violent bouts of morning sickness.
(I have since had my Gallbladder removed; discovered that i have an Auto-immune Thyroid condition, and am also negotiating PTSD.)
The sickness was constant throughout my pregnancy, - at any time of day or night, up until the point that Griogair's water's broke.
(It's safe to say that stress levels were rather high.)
1st Bleed 13-14weeks:
I will always remember the musty smell from our old kitchen. I think we were counting through forks and spoons of the property that we had been renting, - when i felt pressure in the area of my bladder, and i hastily excused myself and dashed to the bathroom. Within a minute, blood was everywhere, i panicked and went into shock, realising that i had to get to a hospital asap. I shouted for Tim, and unfortunately with his keys stuck in his van, we hastily told the land lady's friend -who was going through the inventory with us, that we had no option but for her to drive us!
We all bundled into the back of her car, myself vomiting and pouring with blood... so, so relieved when we reached the doors of the emergency department of the hospital!
I was then lying on a hospital bed for what seemed like hours, still bleeding, the Dr's and nurses expecting me to miscarry our baby at any moment.
At the same time, Tim was having to arrange for a friend to come and pick up our 2 yr old daughter.
Time passed, our daughter was picked up by friends, and i was sent over from Perth Royal Infirmary to Ninewells in Dundee to stay overnight.
Morning came, and i was sent for a scan. I was so emotional and teary as i went to be scanned. I waited to be told "I am so sorry" however, i then saw our wee baby clearly on the scanner's screen!
I remember feeling so confused, pleased, yet terrified, all at once. I found myself in a state of grief.
(Very light bleeding continued throughout the period between the major bleeds. We learned that the Placenta was covering his way out.)
2nd Bleed 18weeks :